Date: 24/05/2021
Locations: Freshwater Beach to Branscombe, Devon
Distance: 42.22km
Accommodation: Berry Barton Caravan Park
There’s no shame in an orange poncho…
Day 4 of Walk for AnaBella 2021, 28 Marathons in 28 Days, a little bit of a late start but I managed to dry the majority of my gear including my running shoes which had been soaked through by the previous day’s storm. If it wasn’t for the launderette at the campsite I don’t know what I would have done as I would have remained wet and dirty, so the late start was worth it to start the day off clean and dry.
The plan today is just to get there really. I’m gonna take it easy as this is all uncharted territory to me, the fourth marathon distance in a row taking me over the 100 miles mark. I’m feeling good, surprisingly well in fact. I also slept surprisingly well in the storm last night and as I have said the support that you guys have given me makes it a little bit easier.
As you know it’s all in AnaBella’s name, what we went through as a family in grief it was a mental battle. This right here is a physical battle but I hope to share some of the mental battles that we went through as well. It’s very hard to ignore when a person is going through a physical battle, but a mental battle is not always so obvious. As men in particular we become good at hiding things but in the long run, this does us more harm than good. What I am hoping to achieve here is to juxtapose this physical battle with the mental battle that I went through when AnaBella died.
I’m going to get on, as you can see the weather has turned, a little bit earlier as well there was hailstones and rain so looks like it’s going to be another one of those days, but in an attempt to keep things dry I’ll be wearing the poncho.
So we are about six kilometres in, the pace is okay and like I said in the last video, my goal for today is just getting there. The sun’s come out, but before that, it was raining and I’m really glad that I had this poncho on. You know it’s the first time I’ve worn this poncho and one of the reasons I haven’t worn it is because of what I look like in it. But it has been so beneficial, I should have been wearing it on other days. So often we do things in this life to please others and really what is the point.
When it comes to grief and baby loss, sometimes you feel like oh you know I shouldn’t be crying as people are looking, what are they thinking you, what could they be thinking, oh they don’t want me talking about my baby, my dead baby. They don’t want to be hearing about the miscarriages we’ve suffered because it’s not something someone wants to talk about, they don’t want to see pictures of my dead baby. But really who cares, who cares what they think? it’s about you, it’s about your self-care, it’s about your life, what you’ve loved and what you’ve lost.
Something that I saw yesterday when I was doing some updates, was when you’re grieving your phone book is going to halve in size but double in strength, and that is so powerful because it’s so true. The people that do listen, the people that don’t mind you crying, don’t mind you talking about your baby, don’t mind and even want to see pictures of your daughter or son, want to talk to you about your child they are the people that count. They’re the people that you need around in life because they’re the keepers.
I have six children, their names are: Hudson, Anabella, Hope, Neo, Esperanza and Anastasia, this is for you guys. I love you all.
- The fourth marathon in a row will bring my total up to over 100 miles
- Most climbing in one day 1537m up 1395m down
- Golden Cap highest point on the South West Coast Path
- Rain, Hailstorms, Wind
- Saw Robins, one landed on the signpost that I needed to see to get me in the right direction
- The orange poncho makes its first appearance
- Listened to a guy playing ukelele in Seaton
- The realisation that I hadn’t worn it based on what others may think of me
- Campsite just off the path
- Another wet and windy night but helped by lovely neighbours who provided me with Tea, Hot Water Bottle and a packed lunch
- Hot Water Bottle Saved my phone as nearly broke
